There comes a point in your life that you need a little break of everything around you, so you can get up and go for whatever you want.
I feel boundless right now. I feel boundless and blind. I’m completely love-blinded. Every single morning I wake up with the tinni tinny tiny possibility that everything will be fine again, even not doing a thing to change this whole situation. I’m trying really hard to be neutral, distant and careless when in reality i’m dying inside, slowly, softly, painfully. Sometimes I think I’m getting crazy for real, but it means something to feel this way, something that I’ve never been through before if you really want to know the truth. I’m not another one, I’m just the same old guy that loves. My heart just breaks, I have to accept it.
I’m so tired of crying, so tired of seeing other’s joy when I try to be happy again and not succeeding. I’m tired of drama, virtual provocations, distance, coolness, and all that crap between us when all I need is to be at least your friend again.
You know, I just need some time to put my life on track again with or without anyone’s help. I’ve never ever felt so lost in these 20 years, it’s so many things going on at the same second and maybe I can’t handle it anymore.
So I decided to go away from here for awhile.
This may last only for a few days or maybe for some weeks or months, but I’m gonna disappear of the internet. I sincerely don’t give a shit for followers, “friends”, hearts or whatever. It’s just making me sad to read things I wish I didn’t have. Late life.
If you are my friend and you’re reading this, I beg you: don’t ask me A word. I don’t wanna talk about it and I’m not gonna talk about it. This is for me, only. I’m gonna continue with my life, running for my things, trying to make dreams into reality, working for my future, turning can’ts into cans. If you miss me, text me, call me, let me know for God’s sake.
If you don’t, I can perfectly understand what silence means.
Daylight breaks and I’m in your arms again. A tiger wanting to be tamed.
Last night I remembered the way you shake your feet when you’re trying to sleep, just the way I do everynight.
It’s weird and sick how often you cross my mind when I’m not waiting for you at all. It hurts. I’m unable to handle a love like this.
In the major part of my whole life I’ve been full of emotion, a day and night dreamer, trying every single day to reach the things I wanted so badly. I’m trying now the same things in another level, now I’m almost a grownup and it’s being hard to get used to it. I’m too adolescent to adult life. There was a time that I could believe in love, there was a time that I could believe that distance is just a test to see how far love can travel, I’m not so sure of it anymore. My love is not enough, even I am made 100% of it. I am not enough.
Today I’m locking my heart. You’re leaving my life day after day without giving me any kind of news about what’s going on, and so am I. But please, remember: just because we don’t talk, doesn’t mean I don’t care. I think about you every time.
I’ll try to focus on college and a new job. My greatest wish is to be near you completly, let’s see what the next few months hold for us, for me. It’s crazy how reality can push you against your dreams, but I wanna change this in my benefit. And I’ll do this my dear, I will.
Today I am locking my heart, I hope to keep this feeling somewhere, asleep, waiting for the day to wake up. I’m shaking my feet.